My girlfriend always criticizes me reddit Shes always criticizing and correcting me and i cant stand it. She says she has a stuck up attitude that gives off the idea A community where people can share their experiences of growing up with Asian parents, specifically, those who are strict, abusive, or have impossible expectations. If someone wants to criticize me without me getting angry, I need to know that person very well. Exactly man, they could be right they could be wrong but more or less you gotta trust yourself with how you handled the situation. 32 votes, 27 comments. " I've always been the "nice guy" my entire life, so in the relationship I always feel like I am apologizing for what she deems i have done wrong. Something I’ve noticed for a while now is she always finds something to complain about. She never comments on my stuff, she just lets me be me. This is a place for people to vent, seek support, or offer advice to others who are going through similar situations. Pretty much the title. My girlfriend and I will get into arguments about the phrasing of something that I say. Jul 12, 2021 · There's a difference between feedback and criticism. The thing is, early on, I did always do this. Am I crazy? My wife [43F] of 3. When i tell my GF that something she said or did made me sad. I got this idea from…Yeah, my girlfriend always criticizes me for criticizing China lol I even spoke to my parents about it, and they tried to talk to her about it, but she won’t change. She suffers from anxiety and depression and would always blame her depression for not being able to enjoy things which i understand. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I’m a plus size woman with a large chest and a body type WAY different than my mother’s. Despite her physical appearance, she’s the one my heart loves and cares about. We're it just the one story I would have shown examples of telling her no, but it sounds like it's every story. She hates that I do that, she tells me "you prefer reading a book and doing laundry more than spending time with me". So i usually tend to question her on alot of the things she does and its something that i do with most people. However, she is starting to say things about god's plan, and if i don't love god than my love for her isn't true. I am always buying her food driving her to and from places, going on nice drives and walks with her, getting food to Hi all. But my sister frequently makes critical comments to me, some a bit more snippy than others. It gives a huge boost of professionalism to your image and interactions. In general, I've got issues of self-esteem and social awkwardness, but I just try to do my thing and be happy I guess. My (30F) GFs (30F) constant complaining is ruining our relationship and I don’t know what to do anymore. I dated a guy who always said um and stuff while ordering but I knew it wasn’t something he could magically fix with me always pointing it out. In the beginning everything was really swell, although she had little time for me and we met only like 1-2 times a week. She left her phone next to mine, and that was when I had the urge to check her phone for the first time. I just don't know if i can mentally take it anymore. Normally, we get along well but recently it seems every little thing I do irritates her. TL;DR have you had success getting a spouse to stop criticizing you? How did you do it? The long story is: my wife (35F) and I (33M) have been married for six years. 34 years and a foreign country with a totally different culture later, I am so sick of family, friends, and all the people I date criticizing how I do the smallest, pettiest of tasks. I genuinely feel I do so much for her. My girlfriend, when she feels even remotely hurt or offended, goes into full-on defensive "pout" mode, often crying and using defensive tactics that I would associate with children. This sparks arguments. These aren't "why" questions out of curiosity, there is a very heavy tone of "you're doing it wrong" in these exchanges. Feb 12, 2023 · My girlfriend is always criticizing me, but when I talk to her about it she tells me she’s doing nothing wrong. It always sets people back. He was never affectionate or even really emotionally present at all toward me, even when I was a very young child. Turns out the little things I did to annoy her or mistreat her , all added up and she kept it quiet. She was always thin until recently and has always viewed my appearance, i feel, as subpar to what she expects. And I can tell when she comes over she is quite distant with her. Jan 9, 2025 · Learn the signs of a critical spouse and how constant criticism damages love and self-esteem. She started saying that whenever I wear it, it looks shabby and she doesn't want to be seen with me. I did this with my recent ex because I’m an empathetic person and if I feel like my girlfriend criticizes me constantly and I don't know what to do about it. I feel that I do more than her and she is being unfair. Feb 20, 2024 · Words can hurt, and when they're highly critical and coming from the person you care about most, the sting can also be humiliating. I usually apologize very quickly saying that im sorry I offended/upset her, and I didnt mean it that way, and im sorry if I didn't choose the best words. My (31M) gf (25 F) of 1. Personally, my mom has done this since forever! For some background, my mom use to be a very fit athletic cheerleader when she was my age. Every time she visits my house, she points out all the things wrong, so I told her a while ago she is not allowed to visit if that continues. Now we have a 10 month old son. And its usually pretty simple things like “why do you always carry so many things in your bag” “why would u Written by: Amanda Levison, M. I came to the point in my relationship in which I really dont know what to think, and I feel like listening to some opinions of anonymous strangers. I have a friend that almost always has something to say about my personality when I react a certain way to something. It's not like mid-western emo, its basically just the popular stuff from popular alternative bands that has stuck with my for neaarly 10 years. It sucks but every introvert needs to learn how to work well with a group for the sake of Girlfriend snapping and rude to me Tldr: My (m26) Gf (f26) snaps at me all the time and is becoming rude to me. ” Focusing on your partner’s behavior without specifying the issue has the potential to lead to miscommunication. Recently she has asked me to initiate hanging out more because she feels like she does it all the time. My husband (33M) constantly criticizes my (33F)cooking his latest is the food was so bad he felt disrespected. It helped. So my girlfriend and I have been together for about a year. If you truly think you did something wrong a SINCERE apology is for sure ok. She always follows up by questioning my abilities altogether, and claims I can't take criticism. The counselor mentioned Gottman and his 4 horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling). She isn’t very bubbly and doesn’t often strike up long or exciting conversations with my mother. am I being overly defensive which causes her to criticize that or am I valid for being defensive because I’m being criticized constantly. S. If you feel you can’t then move on. I know it’s an invasion of privacy, I know it’s a bad move, I know I know. You know, it always baffles me to hear a man talk about how "women always try to change us," when I hear far more stories about guys pulling shit like this in attempt to make their girlfriends or wives change. Relationships UPDATE: Always find something positive and genuine to say about your experience there. As the Jun 29, 2020 · Major signs that you might be too controlling of your partner include always criticizing them, never complimenting them, constant conflict, having difficulty trusting people, and getting worried My girlfriend of 7 years was wonderful and suddenly broke up with me out of nowhere. Recently I’ve become increasingly annoyed with how my gf always snaps at me for the seemingly anything. She sends me long emails during work of just criticism. Sometimes I listen and Usually, people are critical/negative to get a reaction from you. Aug 5, 2024 · For example, stating "you always criticize me” has the possibility of sounding confrontational and accusatory instead try "I feel hurt when you criticize my actions. My girlfriend literally could not care less about music - she doesn't get the big deal, and only listens to trashy pop songs on those "hottest hits" playlists. 5 years' constant criticism hurts me [42m] and I don't know if she's right. Jun 21, 2018 · "Criticizing things that your partner has no control over can be incredibly hurtful," Backe says. It got especially annoying a few days ago when she started mocking my jacket that I have owned for a few years now and I really love. She truly believes 99% of the problems in our relationship are my fault… : r/relationship_advice     Gaming Sports Business Crypto Television Celebrity Go to relationship_advice r/relationship_advice r/relationship_advice That said, one of my favorite sayings is “that’s not helpful”. Women who were raised by highly critical parents, how did you turn out to be? Was there a point that bothered you a lot and you recognized triggers? My husband (33M) constantly criticizes my (33F)cooking his latest is the food was so bad he felt disrespected. I'm really at my breaking point and I don't know what to do. "If you chose to be in the relationship, it is your job to accept your partner for who they are. Tl;dr: My girlfriend is constantly criticizing my food choices every day and it's causing a massive problem in the relationship. It seems there is no way of pleasing this woman, what should I do? After three years of dating, I've discovered that my girlfriend's demands have slowly chipped at my self-confidence. She will interpret what I say as an extremely negative attack on her and force me to apologize. Everything annoys him (the way the grocery store is organized, other peoples fashion choices, the service at the take out restaurant, etc etc etc). These piss me off. I told her this once but i don't really know what to do. Long text : For context we have been going out 2 years and living for one. There's some people who just don't understand introverts. We all need someone who genuinely understands, supports and accepts us for who we are. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Just be sincere and let it rest. No motives of reclaiming the relationship. I have always admitted fault and apologized. Any help is much appreciated. She keeps complaining about so many things. She starts getting really sad and i have to comfort her each time. She is helping you, as long as she is being kind, not doing it publicly and helping you correct true mistakes issues- then she is actually doing her job Many managers ignore the mentorship portion of their Two days ago my girlfriend and I had some wine, we shared a wonderful night and she went to sleep a little earlier. To list a few Women who have extra critical mothers, how do you deal with the constant criticism and is there a way to put an end to it? My mom criticizes me so fucking much and I am always defensive. This thread is archived New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A bakedapps • Additional comment actions Two days ago my girlfriend and I had some wine, we shared a wonderful night and she went to sleep a little earlier. You apparently like to criticize. Please share your stories, your questions, your histories, your fears and your triumphs. I looked up my name in her messages just to see what was said about me I have to pick up my parent from a medical appointment next month. Apr 27, 2015 · While no relationship is perfect, being with someone that critiques you on the regular can be highly annoying and might even put a dent in your self-esteem. But it better just be that… an apology. Because everyone in my family would criticize me with "you are worthless" as a followup. How do I deal with my introversion with someone like this? Fuck. My wife constantly nags me and criticizes me over little things and it's really starting to get to me and damage my feelings towards her. Written by: Amanda Levison, M. Understand that my gf is on the spectrum while i am neurotypical at best. This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). I think that's a great philosophy, except most of the problems that she talks about are things that I'm doing to upset her. If I do laundry she says I did it wrong eg I fold her jeans the wrong way. When I tell her that it is demeaning and damaging our relationship, she just says there is a I feel like if I give in to her she'll just find something to criticize about my next meal and it will be a never ending cycle. My girlfriend constantly criticises me for not 'doing enough' for her. You can say things like: “I am looking for great leaders who are able to mentor, and help develop my career”, not “my bosses were awful, and don’t know how to lead/ were unable to provide me with the resources needed to learn my job, etc… We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. The only thing he criticizes me on is things relating to cleaning and I just don’t really care enough about cleaning to be bothered. It was immature when I was 17, but that kind of blaming shit is unacceptable when you're 30. Hey everyone! Recently, my partner brought up the way I socialize by saying “most of my friends originally thought you didn’t… Hey dads I’m getting really fed up with my wife jumping in and “correcting” my parenting and disciplining almost daily. Whenever we have a disagreement over something, no matter how trivial, the differences in the ways that we resolve the conflict become very apparent and it leads to a lot of frustration Mar 27, 2015 · Boomer couples frequently criticize each other's driving, and they persist no matter how annoying until it all too often escalates into something bigger than warranted. And she explained that it’s her personality. Apr 20, 2018 · Here, Jacqueline McDiarmid offers some strategies that she uses in marriage counselling to help break the cycle of criticism. If your partner won’t stop criticizing you, know that their If you can't back me up with my daughter, then I can't have you join my life, plain and simple. Whenever I am alone with this parent, they always find an opportunity to criticize me, my choices, my job, its always something. He has said multiple things about my appearance, like my skin being a certain way, my body being a certain way, me being more masculine, etc. He criticizes everything and everyone. So hi there. Yes the exorcists, rosemary’s baby are always on my list (originals of course). My mum mentions my weight multiple times a day, especially every time I ask her if my new clothes look nice or if the fit I put together looks good. I'm a girl - I'm 31 he's 28. My girlfriend blames me for all of our issues. After multiple times of different sorts of rejections, I started to feel pretty bad and put in less effort on that front. TL;DR: Girlfriend [21F] angry and criticizes me [23M] for no reason and can't communicate. Share Sort by: Top Open comment sort options Judgement We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Not enough info but if you’re saying “always” and that’s true, as in he criticizes you very frequently, then that’s your real issue. If your aunt and cousin are always mean and looking for excuses to criticize you, keep them at a comfortable distance. I realize I'm not perfect, but I find that I don't let things get to me like they do to her. I feel like no matter what I do, I am always criticized. How do I make him see what he’s doing is hurtful? I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and every time I’m around his friends I don’t talk much because I’m the same way. Like a used toy that got boring. He is also messy sometimes and I didn't warn him. Feels like being pushed away. It sounded more like she was just criticizing me. The biggest examples are: I tried to get a gym membership, and my boyfriend said that he’s “always been against gyms” and that I can just use his weights to work out or work out outside. I feel like i will never be good enough for my big sister. Women who have extra critical mothers, how do you deal with the constant criticism and is there a way to put an end to it? My mom criticizes me so fucking much and I am always defensive. Its driving me crazy. 5 years and we live together. " This is, however, behaviour she only really exhibits around me and to a lesser extent her family, around her friends she is less assertive / opinionated. The other thing is, he wants me to do cleaning when he wants. I had an argument with her about this today via phone and ended up hanging up on her. Things have always been a little hard but lately she is making me… Hello Redditors, This is my first post ever. Girlfriend criticizes me for what seemingly appears to be (to me) small trivial matters. My mom for some reason has never liked my girlfriend. You want to be with someone who understands you and is supportive of who YOU are. This is not a rare thing, it happens almost every day. I have had people tell me in person that they like my emails etc. Have you ever found yourself thinking: “My partner criticized me, so why did that conversation blow up in my face?” or “My partner complained about me and I didn’t know how to respond. :) I started dating my girlfriend at the start of this year. Then you take advantage of the silence and redirect the conversation to something else. This is not limited to romantic relationships but also friendships and familial ones. If I cut the grass, why didn't I edge the driveway. Women who were raised by highly critical parents, how did you turn out to be? Was there a point that bothered you a lot and you recognized triggers? People constantly criticize me [30M] for dating my girlfriend [18F] and I don't know how to get them to stop. Constructive criticism is more like “ hey you said um a lot maybe next time don’t use those filler words and we can work on different ways of communication “ not im so embarrassed to be around Mar 5, 2022 · No matter how hard you may try, there are times when you just can’t satisfy your partner. These criticisms aren't based in reality, but I am very tired of this. Has anyone else experienced this? My girlfriend always gets mad when I have a differing opinion from her, or opt to take a different direction than she’s decided is the “right” way to go. , LMHC, LPC, CCBTRelationships are essential in every aspect of life. He always had been but I love him because he's hilarious, loving, smart, fun and capable. You can say things like: “I am looking for great leaders who are able to mentor, and help develop my career”, not “my bosses were awful, and don’t know how to lead/ were unable to provide me with the resources needed to learn my job, etc… tl;dr girlfriend is complaining that i don't use kiss emooijs or say i love you as much as i did, she also texts a lot and expects me to always keep on texting also she is often stirring up some old BS or complaining about my texting, you don't use as much kiss emojis, you don't text as much "i love you" Archived post. My girlfriend talks for hours to me about things I don’t understand or even might not have may interest in but I’ll always listen and love that these things make her excited. She doesn’t like criticism. This often comes up in social situations, and she get’s livid. trueI’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 years and I absolutely love her to pieces. I guess I can best describe our relationship as very cold/distant and businesslike? Think every movie drill sergeant combined with In the business world email writing is a huge deal. She always tells me to change the way I do things. She became extremely negative, criticizing everything I say and do. "Why do you wash pants and towels separately?" Because over time they put holes in my In general, I've got issues of self-esteem and social awkwardness, but I just try to do my thing and be happy I guess. She tells me that she is just speaking her mind and that she will never hold any feelings in, she always wants to get it out in the open. New research suggests a few tactics to get your relationship back on track. My wife likes to go behind me and find fault with whatever I do. Please help me. Now it feels like a situation of what came first the chicken or the egg? In other words. 15 votes, 20 comments. He’s even admitted this openly to me, saying he feels the need to share his opinion and criticize me. She doesn't like the way I drive (I drive manual and she doesn't understand it); she will always freak out when I downshift to slow down at a stop sign and freaks out as if I'm going to kill her. Significant others and friends are all welcome. Trick ‘r treat is extra fun — even for those that dont really like horror. It’s not rude, it’s not confrontational, it doesn’t directly say they’re being an asshole, and most people don’t really know how to respond to it. I’ve always told her she’s the most beautiful woman to me because that’s how I genuinely feel It seems like you’re not really listening to perspectives other than the one you want to hear (“my girlfriend is over sensitive, I was right to criticize her because constructive criticism is fair and she shouldn’t have called me judgmental”). Don't let it change your own behavior or influence whatever decision they're criticizing. Is this normal? What is criticism? Criticism is a destructive type of communication that often takes the form of “you always” or “you never” statements. Common topics on this subreddit include: academic pressure, emotional abuse, physical abuse, parental control My girlfriend complains about everything and has generally been a brat lately. If I cook dinner, I didn't use the right seasoning. Sometimes she does strange or questionable things that i cannot understand why she would do that. But I couldn’t help it. Eventually after about 6 months I asked why she doesn’t like her. My husband is a bit dry when telling me these kind of things and it really caught me off guard at first. It’s really effected my self esteem. What started as playful, quirky comments, have morphed into incessant criticism and outright mocking. This has happened on many occasions and I am at a loss for what to do. One of you has to compromise. Throughout the trip, she maintained a negative attitude and didn't show any happiness for me. She’s 39 years old with very visible wrinkles on her face, especially on her forehead, and her boobs are long. She even complained that I am too white for her, that she wants someone darker, etc. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Feb 12, 2023 · Criticism is a destructive type of communication that often takes the form of “you always” or “you never” statements. : r/relationships r/relationships r/relationships My long term boyfriend (4 years) is a negative guy. And my girlfriend is a devoted christian which doesn't bother me at all, as i am fully open to what other's morals are based on. If you’re hearing statements from your girlfriend like, “you’re always late”, or “you never take out the trash” then you are experiencing criticism. To list a few But then she would bring up my fuck up out of nowhere and get upset with me. He points out every little thing I do (closing the door too loudly This criticizing continuous about cleaning, he says I am messy and always warns me to tidy up my things. Because i ended up just not telling her anything now because i know she will get sad and i have to comfort her. In an ideal relationship, you can spend Fuck. In an ideal relationship, you can spend If you grew up with a mom that was constantly criticizing you, how did you express the way you felt to her and how did it go? On the other side, if she doesn't want to change at all I can't force her to, and making comments isn't helping things. Being family doesn't mean they have carte blanche to treat you like crap. 5Y constantly criticizes my hair, my dress, my shoes and my hobbies. Me (25m) and my gf have been together for 2. ” In this article, I’ll cover what you can you do to make sure communication with your partner is open and productive, even when faced with criticism. As with most anyone, of course, I could use some refinement in certain areas, but Girlfriend snapping and rude to me Tldr: My (m26) Gf (f26) snaps at me all the time and is becoming rude to me. Sometimes she'll just point things out - my posture is bad, or my hair looks crazy, or I looked really awkward doing something. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. She started this fairly recently about 2 weeks ago or such. This makes me feel so bad. Im actually like that. My (30M) girlfriend (30F) and I have been together for a little over a year and, for the most part, the relationship has been good, except for one MAJOR challenge in the way that we resolve conflicts. Even after I've brought them up and talked to her about it, she seems to turn things around on me saying I'm forgetful and that maybe I should go get checked for ADD or something. Older sister is overly critical, judgmental, a hypocrite, disrespects my boundaries and she wonders why I can’t confide in her (rant) Told me to take on tasks above my pay grade because it's needed without any training/directions Constantly gives me more work to do when I've got other tasks and workload to manage Tells me off professionally in front of other coworkers (my guess is to bring me down and make me look stupid in front of them) Throwaway account here. I feel like I have always been open with my introversion bur she takes it like a personal attack, like I don't want to be with her. Reply reply [deleted] • Comment deleted by user Reply reply OneMonthEverywhere • I see her on calls with other people on my team from time to time (they’re new as well) which is odd to me, when I asked her how are others doing on the team she just tells me to stop asking about others and to just focus on yourself. Talking through mutual goals, compromising and getting on the same page is one thing. We are both very into each other and I want to get over this, but there is nothing I can do if it is being brought up. For example, when I excitedly shared my family trip to Chicago with my siblings, she got upset and gave me a list of dos and don'ts, expressing her disapproval of certain places. My son forgot to charge his tablet and my new partner told me he thinks my son is not ready for electronics and that he “does it on purpose. I never thought it would happen to me, but it can happen to anyone. I'm talking… I asked her if anything makes her happy and she blew up on me basically saying that it's my fault I don't do anything about it. It irritates me. She claims I monopolize conversations, and maybe I do at times, but I have explained to her that I'm not naturally a good listener, and that I have made an effort to learn to be better at it, but the things I've read about listening skills never It honestly sounds like your girlfriend has some irritability issues and you're kind of the punching bag here? Maybe ask yourself if she has been experiencing anxiety lately or something traumatic/life-changing happened. So AITA for always making these comments? Archived post. . My wife My girlfriend (39F)is constantly pointing out my (55M)supposed "flaws" and doesn't seem to appreciate the positive things I bring to the relationship. What should I do? My girlfriend is quite strong-minded, self-confessed, in her words "I know what I like, why should I pretend that I like something when I don't. My mom continually criticizes me about my lack of housekeeping skills. Hey Reddit- not a dad, but in desperate need of advice relating to one? I (20F) have always felt extremely criticized and belittled by my father. If your partner won't stop criticizing you, here's how to ask for the respect you deserve. When I figured out it wasn’t personal toward me - it’s just a personality quirk of his to be blunt - I decided to take I stride. The girl I’m currently seeing is not physically attractive, is 5”0 tall and weighs 200 pounds. She called me on Sunday and offered an apology of sorts, basically that she was worried about my health because I’ve gained all this weight, blah blah blah. I've always considered myself to be quite personable and outgoing. However, relationships are not always smooth sailing, and we often face criticism from our partners and loved ones 85 votes, 85 comments. I looked up my name in her messages just to see what was said about me . I agree some days I feel nervous and not tidy up my areas of the house but later that day I tidy them. The best (and hardest) thing to do is ignore the comment entirely. ” He assumes my children have malicious intent constantly. She always finds things to complain about me, I don't know what to do about it. I have many good relationships with people and some very close friends that I get along famously with. Neither his friends or him have ever ever ever said one thing about me being quiet and he’s never compared me to his ex. It’s not really criticizing so much, it’s more like endearing, like he calls me his little tornado. MembersOnline • PhantomLove115 Once when I was like 17 I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone while I was doing the dishes and then I dropped my phone into the water and it got all fucked up, and I got mad at her because she called me while I was doing dishes. A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice. Until one day she drops the bomb and there's no chance for me to go back. I enjoy his company because he is intelligent But otherwise, he seems to always just want to talk about my life and previous, present, future relationships. That reaction gives them a sense of power. And then would ask me "Why are you angry?". The worst part is that she does the exact same things she tells me not to do. However it sounds like you've struggled at work. Like exactly a year ago we went to 5 marriage counseling sessions. Recently, she has started saying how I never put any effort in and I never have and how I don’t care. All of them.